Why I Gave Myself Some Time To Detox from Writing on Medium

I needed some self-love and self-care.

I am that kind of person that is always worrying about what to do next.

Where to go. What to eat. What to write. What is happening?

When I was writing one text per day, I often searched for inspiration in every place I could find. Books, YouTube, nature, experiences, philosophy, myself…

But I came to a point where I stopped experiencing life because I had to write about it later.

And this was unhealthy.

Joy must be a priority. If there is no joy, there is no value.

I Stopped In The Moment I Observed The Loop.

If a pattern is repeating and I choose to keep doing the same things, I will get the same results.

These are not the kind of results that I wanted, but those that I was capable of.

Before I took a little time off medium, I would constantly find myself in a state of anxiety, opening this website every once in a hour to see if the f*ing ball was green with a big number in it.

There is no more problems for me if nobody reads my texts.

This relationship between us and the external world form a dependency for connections which can really be dangerous if you are in a reactive position.

But if one spend some time to think about ordinary things, one can notice how humans got everything wrong.

The joy is only sustainable if it comes accompanied by the desire to make a change in the current status quo. The seek for wisdom must be the main force driving us to create.

Not more followers or viewers in a day.

If the drive to create comes from confusion and noise, you can know that something is wrong. Creativity is not forced, it is a gift that we use to connect ourselves with the cosmos, expressing our ideas and feelings.

I also realized that keeping things inside my heart is dangerous to me.

I still need expression.

I often felt alone in this medium-detox week.

I had been too hard on myself. I had been too hard on others. I needed self-love, self-forgiveness. I needed to find myself again.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. It is remembering without anger. It frees up your power, heals your body, mind and spirit. Forgiveness opens up a pathway to a new place of peace where you can persist despite of what has happened to you.

Thinking about writing raises some questions in my head…

• Why does publishing a text into the unknown affects me so much?
• Why do I need the feeling of publishing a text to feel better?

I cannot answer that yet. But I can tell you something:

I am glad to come back.

And I am back with fresh ideas and full power.

Thanks For Reading ❤

#Day 87
#The100DayWritingProject