How To Not Be Bothered By People

Stop allowing others to make you angry

Fernando Aguilar
8 min readSep 18, 2020

At 23, I don’t have a whole lot of life experience.
But I got something right early on.
The knowledge that whatever you consume, you will become.

A lot of people are dealing with other people’s problems. Sometimes it’s out in the streets, sometimes it’s even at home. Sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s family.

No matter what, there is always one person you come across that bothers you. And they make you feel bad in a certain way, they’re getting on your nerve.

Say it. I don’t want anybody controlling me. Yes, if you try a lot you can bother me. But I’m too busy changing my life. Why should I focus on being angry? You can make me angry. But we haven’t got time for that.

They’re making you angry and you’re thinking something like
— I wish this person was out of my life.

Then they go out of your life, but you’re still bothered. They’re not even around you, but you’re still angry. Is that you?

So in this article I’m gonna share with you the secrets of how to never be bothered or angry by people.

I’m human being, people bother me, people make me angry. But over time I’ve learned how to hardly be bothered. You see it starts with this:

I do stuff for people and what I do for people sometimes I expect it back.
If I treat someone with kindness, I’m like: — okay they’ve got to be chill with me. They got to be chill with me.

But when I see someone who’s acting their total opposite, sometimes that gets on my nerves. Then I realize not everybody has the same heart as me.

Not everybody has the same heart as you, so don’t feel bad about it. Realize not everybody is you. not everybody can give like you. Not everybody can be as compassionate as you.

You are gonna come across a wide spectrum of people, different people, and you have to deal with this. This is part of life.

Not everybody is gonna be like you. As happy as you are. there is gonna be somebody who is as angry on the other side of the spectrum.

Okay I’ve been there, done that. Then I realize. If they are making me feel a certain way, if they are triggering me, it’s because I still have lessons to learn with them.

So if someone tells you something, and that makes you angry. It’s because you still have work to do.

I want to remind you that words sometimes stay with us.

But remember, if it stayed with you, it’s because you have to work on yourself. You see — I had to learn all those years ago that I needed to be confident in how I spoke, in what I would say, so I said — Hey I’m not gonna allow this person to start changing my entire routine. I’m going to be myself, authentic.

So I kept doing it. Then I realize this person was not my problem.

My issue was not really believing enough in myself. And this person came along and highlighted that. How to never be bothered or angry by people.

Some people got family members who are like — hey what are you talking about? Do this, or be like this. You want to be treated in a certain way and sometimes it’s not how they are.

So sometimes we are bothered by even our own mum or dad or brother or sister. People in our own family who don’t get us. These are the closest ones, and so, they know your weaknesses, they go directly on your nerves.

They know different. They don’t see the world like we see.

And we’re like — hey can you just be happy for me? Stop being such a problem to my life and start helping me for once, would you.

Thanks for that. I appreciate you too.

I’m here to remind you.

That you have to realize the answer to these questions. The sooner the better.

  • Where are you? Where are they?
  • Where do you want to go? Where do they want to go?

You see, we have to remind ourselves the reason why we feel bothered or angry by other people is because we are in a close proximity to them.

In other words, we are in their presence. In other words we are matching their vibration. In other words, we are matching their frequency.

Negativity can only affect you when you are vibrating at the same frequency. So you have to raise your frequency. You have to raise your vibration and realize that once you do, you won’t be bothered or angry by this person.

You are only angry and bothered because you’re still on the same vibration as them, you’re arguing with a ghost right now.

Remind yourself of this: silence is also an answer.

If there is someone who is trying to provoke you, they’re trying to make you mad. Nobody can make you mad without your permission.

Learn how to not feed them through your reaction. Learn how to respond and realize, silence is also a response. But don’t be afraid to also express yourself at the same time.

Let your success speak louder than what annoys you.

To never be bothered or angry by anybody, let your success speak louder than what annoys you. So occupy your game…

If you are bothered or angry by people it’s because you’re not focusing on where you are and where you need to go.

You got an awful amount of time. You’ve got so much time on your hands, so you have to learn how to be so busy loving the life you live that you have no time to focus on people who bother you.

You have no time to focus on people who make you angry. Why?

Because you are enjoying the life you are living. I’m too busy to think about someone that bothers me. Then I say — wait a minute. I let my success speak louder than what annoys me.

You see, some people haven’t got a lot going on. They haven’t got a lot going for them in life. But you do, you’re going places, you’re leaving your mark on the world. You’re leaving your legacy in the world.

So why think about somebody who’s doing nothing with their life.

You are and you have to focus on you. Don’t focus on them, focus on you. And focus on the people that actually love you. All that time you’re spending giving your energy to someone who’s doing nothing for you, stop thinking about people who don’t care about you. Stop thinking about people who do so little for you. Stop trying so hard for people who don’t care for you.

See, to never be bothered or angry by people.

I want to remind you of this, many times people project how they feel on to you. It’s projections all the time. And many times we absorb it. We absorb other people’s energies. It’s okay to be sensitive, but I’ve learned how to protect my energy.

It starts with protecting your peace, to say actually, hey you are not gonna bring your problems to me. Because I’m not gonna accept them.

You don’t have to accept the invitation, you can return it back to sender.

Do not accept the invitation, don’t fall for the bait and start substituting instead of using all of that time.

Because it’s a lot of time that you spend thinking about someone that bothers you. It’s a lot of time to spend on someone that makes you angry.

Use that time to start focusing on someone who’s always been there for you. Look in your address book. There’s one friend that you have who’s always been there. They deserve your attention, not someone who doesn’t care.

People project onto us.

It’s not personal. It’s never personal. A lot of people have other issues and we sometimes feel we’re the problem. No!

They’re the problem. Many times is their own issues. They don’t know how to deal with life. And we come along.

It’s what we call kick the cat syndrome. They had a bad day at work and they kick the cat at home.

So realize that we are the origin of people’s problems and therefore we must never take it personally. We must never take it personally.

Learn how to take care of yourself because sometimes what happens when someone bothers us, and makes us angry, is that we even forget to eat.

By making sure this person is not making you miss breakfast. You’re taking care of yourself. Make sure you are eating to live. Don’t lose sleep over someone who is doing nothing for you, it’s not worth it.

Go through the anger but don’t live there because that anger won’t change anything. You will end up with problems you didn’t even had.

You have to calm down.
Remove yourself from the environment if that’s the case.

Meditation.

If you are going on social media let’s say.

You’re checking the feed and they’re making you angry, people are abusing you. Then you give them the key to control you.

So you have to take a break from it. This is not real life. Social media is not real life. Don’t ruin your real life for this fake life.

Redirect your energy to something that serves you. When you redirect your energy you allow something that serves you to consume you.

Which is your vision, which is your purpose.

Which is people that love you and you love them.

So we have to remind ourselves every single day. We always have the power to redirect the energy. Don’t wake up with gossip. Don’t wake up with drama. Wake up with people you care about and make them some coffee. Would you?

Take responsibility for how you feel.

If you place a glass of water on the table and you bang it down, if the water shoots up.

This is showing you that after the impact something had to come out.

So if you explode in a certain way with someone, that’s a good thing. Be thankful they came along to show you what you have to work on.

You got to start taking a responsibility for how you feel, because sometimes people don’t take responsibility for how they treat you.

And you don’t want to feel like a victim.

Life is never something happening to you it is responding to you.

So take responsibility.

Thanks For Reading ❤

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Fernando Aguilar

• • Outputting thoughts as they emerge from inside ••